Rhonda Renee' (Xavia)

Do you have a favorite scripture? When I first read this scripture, it spoke to the very core of me. Of course the scripture was actually referring to Yeshua, but through it I was able to see the heart of YHWH. To see how He loves and since He never changes, in a few short stances, it shouted who I was in Christ and how much He loves me and how hard he has been and will continue to fight for me. As someone who has battled with self love and worth, this is the exact scripture that I needed to hear and endeared me to a savior who whispered these words to my starving soul. It is often in the midst of great tragedy and loss that our souls are open to hear clearly the voice of God, and I am no different. This is the one scripture that pulled me out of the depths of heartbreak and loss and gave me peace and comfort. This is the one I clung to while trying to scrape together money to finish design school. I believed that the One who loves me so passionately would surely provide for every need according to HIs will. This is the one I grasped at when I pounded the pavement looking for work in a run down pair of patent leather flats with just enough money for cab fare and no clue as to how I was going to pay next month's bills or buy food. This is the one I wrote in my journal and read every morning on the D train to Manhattan.

No money, no prospects. Just hope and faith. Hope that Adonai would direct my path. Faith that El Shaddai would take care of me no matter what.

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

-Psalm 18:6

As many stories go, I had to hit rock bottom before turning to Him, but when I did, I clung to him like he was the air I breathed. I asked Him to search me and show me my heart. I asked him what what His purpose for me is. And when I implored with a broken and contrite spirt, he began to reveal the beautiful tapestry he had started weaving since before I was planted in my mother's womb.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,

because of your unfailing love.

Because of your great compassion,

blot out the stain of my sins.

2Wash me clean from my guilt.

Purify me from my sin.

3For I recognize my rebellion;

it haunts me day and night.

4Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;

I have done what is evil in your sight.

You will be proved right in what you say,

and your judgment against me is just.a

5For I was born a sinner—

yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.

6But you desire honesty from the womb,b

teaching me wisdom even there.

7Purify me from my sins,c and I will be clean;

ewash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8Oh, give me back my joy again;

you have broken me—

now let me rejoice.

9Don’t keep looking at my sins.

Remove the stain of my guilt.

10Create in me a clean heart, O God.

Renew a loyal spirit within me.

11Do not banish me from your presence,

and don’t take your Holy Spiritd from me.

12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and make me willing to obey you.

He showed me what love is, and how love is intended to be between The Father and his beloved child. Then He began to whisper of another story that he wanted to me to tell through the works of my hands.

A story about covenant. A story about faithfulness. A story about love. From the Author of Love and The One who personifies love Himself.

So let me tell you about love. Not as I define it or even how you have defined it in the past, instead let me tell you as he told me. Let me show you about an unfailing never ending love.

Let me weave a story in cloth as old as time itself and as beautiful as a garden in full bloom.

Allow me to wrap you in a symbol of faithfulness, beauty, and love as you enter covenant with the one in whom your soul delights.

And when you understand how He loves, then and only then will you know the real thing when He reveals it to you.

Proverbs 25:2

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

Song of Solomon 8:4

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.

Call it ministry, call it work...all I know is that I have to do it. I remained disobedient for so long for so many reasons. "Lord, it is too hard, Lord I don't have the skills, Lord, I don't have the time, Lord, I don't have the money," so on and so forth. I made so many excuses and didn't follow through until the vision was like fire shut up in my bones.

So here it is. Here is my worship unto Him. May it always be a pleasing aroma of sacrifice and may it faithfully relay the story of his undying, never ending chesed (Loving Kindness/Covenantal Love).

with grace, peace, and love.

but the greatest of these; Love

Rhonda R. Coates